What the f*ck are Skinny Bones Pirates of Potential?

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

CathyC-emotional eater

I am so frustrated and depressed at the same time. I took pictures of myself yesterday because I wanted to do the before and after photos, well I was so disgusted and shocked of my body's shape(self hate). I said to myself there is a lot of work involved to get a better body-I was discouraged. I can't believe it is possible to change it, maybe just lose a few pounds but the shape will still be there? what's the point!!! Anyways my husband gets home after dinner, we work together and he has been on the road for 3 weeks so I am with the kids all day, they too got on my nerves yesterday. I ask him to review the invoices I put on his desk because we are closing year end next Monday and I have to make sure everything is is order etc., he says he doesn;t have time and I just started to argue with him. I know this stems from the anger of the pictures I always do that, I shit on my husband and kids...I am such a mean person (more guilt and self hate) I decided to go for a walk. Went into bed and then I was restless because I was angry and lonely, I didn't want to eat, I wanted to sleep, but food makes me relax and to another happier place (for that short period). I got out of bed had crackers and then a toasted bagel...yes white flour and after 7pm...my 2 bad habits I wanted to challenge this Phase!
My issue is with emotional eating I know. I also can't communicate with my husband when I am frustrated so I argue and blame him for my issues, I know it's wrong and I need to work on that. I have the book ..Stop Emotional Eating...but it is the hardest thing to get control of.
Anyways I understand fully I have to have a reaction plan when I disagree with hubby, not take it personally and rebel by sabotaging my health.
Sorry for the book!

1 comment:

  1. Recognizing that emotional eating is a driver for you is really important Cathy. The thing is that we believe we're powerless to control ourselves around food whereas we really do have choices. The thing is to find the drivers, work out how food is working for you and then develop some counters to deal with the siutation
    Liz n