CathyC-emotional eater

I am so frustrated and depressed at the same time. I took pictures of myself yesterday because I wanted to do the before and after photos, well I was so disgusted and shocked of my body's shape(self hate). I said to myself there is a lot of work involved to get a better body-I was discouraged. I can't believe it is possible to change it, maybe just lose a few pounds but the shape will still be there? what's the point!!! Anyways my husband gets home after dinner, we work together and he has been on the road for 3 weeks so I am with the kids all day, they too got on my nerves yesterday. I ask him to review the invoices I put on his desk because we are closing year end next Monday and I have to make sure everything is is order etc., he says he doesn;t have time and I just started to argue with him. I know this stems from the anger of the pictures I always do that, I shit on my husband and kids...I am such a mean person (more guilt and self hate) I decided to go for a walk. Went into bed and then I was restless because I was angry and lonely, I didn't want to eat, I wanted to sleep, but food makes me relax and to another happier place (for that short period). I got out of bed had crackers and then a toasted bagel...yes white flour and after 7pm...my 2 bad habits I wanted to challenge this Phase!
My issue is with emotional eating I know. I also can't communicate with my husband when I am frustrated so I argue and blame him for my issues, I know it's wrong and I need to work on that. I have the book ..Stop Emotional Eating...but it is the hardest thing to get control of.
Anyways I understand fully I have to have a reaction plan when I disagree with hubby, not take it personally and rebel by sabotaging my health.
Sorry for the book!